PROMPT BOOK CABARET ACT ONE Scene One (Darkness. Drum roll. Cymbal crash. Peep door opens. The EMCEE's eyes appear. The door opens and The EMCEE enters.) EMCEE (Sings) WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME! FREMDE, ETRANGER, STRANGER. GLUCKLICH ZU SEHEN, JE SUIS ENCHANTE, HAPPY TO SEE YOU, BLIESE, RESTE, STAY. WILLKOMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME. IM CABARET, AU CABARET, TO CABARET. (Spoken) MEINE DAMMEN UNO HERREN, MESDAMES AND MESSIEURS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GUTEN ABEND, BON SOIR, GOOD EVENING! WIE GEHT'S ..... COMMENT CA VA? DO YOU FEEL GOOD? (I BET YOU DO) ICH BIN EUER CONFRENCIER, JE SUIS VOTRE COMPERE .... I AM YOUR HOST! (Sings) UNO SAGEN .WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME IM CABARET, AU CABARET, TO CABARET! (Spoken) LEAVE YOUR TROUBLES OUTSIDE ..... SO -LIFE IS DISAPPOINTING? FORGET IT! IN HERE LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL ... . THE GIRLS ARE BEAUTIFUL ... .. EVEN THE ORCHESTRA IS BEAUTIFUL! I TOLD YOU THE ORCHESTRA WAS BEAUTIFUL. ..... . AND NOW, PRESENTING THE CABARET GIRLS! (crash) ROSIE (ad lib), LULU (ad lib), FRENCHIE (ad lib), TEXAS (ad lib) FRITZIE (ad lib) AND HELGA (ad lib). ROSIE, LULU, FRENCHIE, TEXAS, FRITZIE ... UNO HELGA EACH AND EVERY ONE -A VIRGIN YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? WELL, DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. GO AHEAD --TRY HELGA! (Spoken) OUTSIDE IT IS WINTER. BUT IN HERE IT IS SO HOT! EVERY NIGHT WE HAVE TO BATTLE WITH THE GIRLS TO KEEP THEM FROM TAKING OFF ALL OF THEIR CLOTHING. SO DON'T GO AWAY. WHO KNOWS? TONIGHT WE MAY LOSE THE BATTLE! ALL WIR SAGEN.WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME IM CABARET, AU CABARET, TO CABARET! EMCEE (Spoken) WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU! AND NOW PRESENTING THE CABARET BOYS! HERE THEY ARE. ... BOBBY (crash) ..... VICTOR (crash) ORISIT VICTOR (crash) ..... BOBBY (crash) THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE WAY TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE ... l'LL SHOW YOU LATER HANS (crash) (ad lib), HERMAN (crash) (ad lib) AND FlNALLY ...... PRESENTING THE TOAST OF MAYFAIR, FRAULEIN SALLY BOWLES! EMCEE BLEIBE, RESTE, STAY! ALL WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME (That's Victor) IM CABARET, AU CABARET, WIR SAGEN (Whisper) WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME! FREMDE, ETRANGER, STRANGER. (Hello stranger) GLUCKLICH ZU SEHEN, JE SUIS ENCHANTE, (Enchante, Madame) HAPPY TO SEE YOU EMCEE BLEIBE, RESTE, STAY! ALL (Fellim) WIR SAGEN.WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME! FREMDE, ETRANGER, STRANGER. GLUCKLICH ZU SEHEN, JE SUIS ENCHANTE, HAPPY TO SEE YOU ALL BLEIBE, RESTE, STAY! WIR SAGEN.WILLKOMMEN , BEINVENUE, WELCOME IM CABARET, AU CABARET, TO CABARET EMCEE Thank you, thank you ............. BOBBY, VICTOR, HANS, HERMAN, ROSIE, LULU, FRENCHIE, TEXAS, FRITZIE, HELGA, SALLY and ME!! Welcome to the Kit Kat Klub!! ACT ONE Scene Two A Railway CarriaQe (CLIFF, then ERNST enter) ERNST Besetzt? CLIFF Nein. ERNST Sind die frei? CLIFF Ja ..... Bitte. (ERNST places his suitcase on the floor next to CLIFF's. HE puts his briefcase under an empty seat next to CLIFF.) ERNST American? CLIFF I might as well wear a sign: Yankee Doodle. ERNST German. Berlin. Ernst Ludwig. (THEY shake hands.) CLIFF Clifford Bradshaw. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Are we slowing down for the German border? ERNST Ja. CLIFF You've taken this trip before? ERNST Many, many times. You are a touring? (ERNST sits.) CLIFF Not exactly. I'm a writer ... and I give English lessons. (ERNST looks out of the window) Care for a cigarette? Herr Ludwig? ERNST Ja? CLIFF A cigarette? ERNST No, thank you. (A GERMAN CUSTOMS OFFICER enters and turns to CLIFF) OFFICER Deutsche Grenzkontrolle. lhre passe bitte. (CLIFF passes him his passport) Welcome to Germany, Mr Bradshaw. (He indicates CLIFF's bags) Yours? CLIFF Yup. (The OFFICER puts a Customs mark on CLIFF's bag and typewriter without even looking in them. Then he turns to ERNST, who is deep in his newspaper) OFFICER lhren passe bitte. (ERNST hands over his passport) Sie waren geschaftlich in Paris? ERNST Nein. Auf einer urlaubsreise. OFFICER Bitte offnen sie ihren koffer. (ERNST takes his suitcase from the floor, places it on a seat and opens it. The OFFICER goes through it. While the OFFICER's back is turned, ERNST takes his briefcase from under the seat and puts it on the floor in front of CLIFF's bags. CLIFF is surprised but says nothing. The OFFICER marks ERNST's case.) Haben sie nur diesen koffer? ERNST Ja. Das ist alles. OFFICER (To CLIFF) I wish you will enjoy your stay in Germany. And a most Happy New Year. (The OFFICER exits. As he exits, we hear him ... ) Deutsche Grenzkontrolle .... (ERNST, very relieved, retrieves his briefcase) CLIFF . What's in the bag? ERNST Baubles from Paris: perfume ... silk-stockings ... But more than it is permitted. You understand? CLIFF I guess I've done a little smuggling myself. ERNST (relaxing) You are most understanding. I will thank you very much. You have been before to Berlin? CLIFF This is my first time .... ERNST Then I will see to it that it will open its arms to you! We begin tonight --New Year's Eve --the Kit Kat Klub! This is hottest spot in the city. Telephones on every table. Girls call you -boys call you -you call them -instant connections. CLIFF Thanks --but I've still got to find a room .... ERNST You have no room! But this is no problem! (HE takes out a card and writes on it) I know the finest residence in all Berlin. Just tell Fraulein Schneider that Ernst Ludwig has spoken for you. CLIFF I can't afford the finest residence in all Berlin. I need something inexpensive. ERNST But this is inexpensive! Very inexpensive! CLIFF I don't care if it's awful --as long as it's cheap. ERNST But this is awful. You will love it! (ERNST hands CLIFF the card.) CLIFF (reading card) Fraulein Schneider. ERNST You see! You see! You have a new friend --Ernst Ludwig! You have a fine place to stay! And you are having perhaps even your first English pupil! So welcome to Berlin, my friend. Welcome to Berlin! EMCEE (Spoken) Welcome to Berlin! (Sings) WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME. FREMDE, ETRANGER, STRANGER. GLUCKLICH ZU SEHEN, JE SUIS ENCHANTE HAPPY TO SEE YOU, BLEIBE, RESTE, STAY! ACT ONE Scene Three A Room in FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's Apartment FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER So you see, Herr Bradshaw: all comforts! And with breakfast only one hundred marks. CLIFF It's very nice, Fraulein Schneider. But .... you don't have anything cheaper? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER ... but for a friend of Herr Ludwig ... CLIFF I've very little money. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But you will give English lessons. And you will have many pupils. And they will pay you ... and then you will pay me. Ja? CLIFF Fifty marks. That's my absolute limit. If you've anything else ... I don't care how small -.how far from the bathroom ... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But for a Professor --this is more suitable. CLIFF I'm not a Professor. Think of me as a starving author. What do you have for a starving author. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER An author! A poet! You have the look! CLIFF A novelist. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER A novelist! And you will be most famous. It will be like years ago --when in all my rooms --persons of real quality ... this is your room! Here is for you to write. And look -.your window! You can see the whole of the Nollendorfplatz! And there --that little house --the U-Bahn Station. What you call the Metro. Ja? In ten minutes, you are anywhere in Berlin! CLIFF Subway ... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Such a desirable window for a novelist! CLIFF I can still only afford fifty marks. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER This room is worth one hundred. More than one hundred. (A pause) Fifty? (HE nods) .... Sit! You say fifty marks. I say one hundred marks, a --. (Spoken) DIFFERENCE OF FIF.TY MARKS -.WHY SHOULD THAT STAND IN OUR WAY? AS LONG AS THE ROOM'S TO LET, THE FIFTY THAT I WILL GET IS FIFTY MORE THAN I HAD YESTERDAY, JA? (Spoken) WHEN YOU'RE AS OLD AS I -.IS ANYONE AS OLD AS I? WHAT DIFF'RENCE DOES IT MAKE? AN OFFER COMES, YOU TAKE. (Sings) FOR THE SUN WILL RISE AND THE MOON WILL SET AND YOU LEARN HOW TO SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU GET. IT WILL ALL GO ON IF WE'RE HERE OR NOT, SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? WHEN I WAS A GIRL, MY SUMMERS WERE SPENT BY THE SEA. SO WHAT? AND I HAD A MAID DOING ALL OF THE HOUSE-WORK, NOT ME. SO WHAT?. NOW I SCRUB UP THE FLOORS AND I WASH DOWN THE WALLS AND I EMPTY THE CHAMBER POT. IF IT ENDED THAT WAY, THEN IT ENDED THAT WAY, AND I SHRUG AND I SAY: SO WHAT? FOR THE SUN WILL RISE AND THE MOON WILL SET AND YOU LEARN HOW TO SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU GET. IT WILL ALL GO ON IF WE'RE HERE OR NOT, SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? WHEN I HAD A MAN, MY FIGURE WAS DUMPY AND FAT. SO WHAT? THROUGH ALL OF OUR YEARS HE WAS SO DISAPPOINTED IN THAT. SO WHAT? NOW I HAVE WHAT HE MISSED AND MY FIGURE IS TRIM, BUT HE LIES IN A CHURCHYARD PLOT. IF IT WASN'T TO BE THAT HE EVER WOULD SEE THE UNCORSETED ME, SO WHAT? FOR THE SUN WILL RISE AND THE MOON WILL SET AND YOU LEARN HOW TO SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU GET. IT WILL ALL GO ON IF WE'RE HERE OR NOT, SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? SO ONCE I WAS RICH AND NOW ALL MY FORTUNE IS GONE, SO WHAT? AND LOVE DISAPPEARED AND ONLY THE MEMORY LIVES ON, SO WHAT? IF l'VE LIVED THROUGH ALL THAT (AND l'VE LIVED THROUGH ALL THAT) FIFTY MARKS DOESN'T MEAN A LOT. IF I LIKE THAT YOU'RE HERE (AND I LIKE THAT YOU'RE HERE) HAPPY NEW YEAR, MY DEAR, SO WHAT? FOR THE SUN WILL RISE AND THE MOON WILL SET AND YOU LEARN HOW TO SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU GET. IT WILL ALL GO ON IF WE'RE HERE OR NOT, SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? SO WHO CARES? SO WHAT? IT ALL GOES ON .. SO WHO CARES? WHO CARES? WHO CARES? SO WHAT?! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER The telephone is in the hall. I will fetch towels ... (Knock on door) (FRAULEIN KOST enters) FRAULEIN KOST Fraulein Schneider. There is no hot water in the bathroom! The second time this week! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER If you will excuse me, Herr Bradshaw. FRAULEIN KOST (seeing CLIFF) Oh ... you have finally rented this room. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER This is Herr Clifford Bradshaw --the world-famous American novelist. CLIFF How do you do? FRAULEIN KOST Fraulein Kost. Across the hall ... Please feel free --at any time ... (A SAILOR runs in) SAILOR Fritzie --where are you? FRAULEIN KOST My nephew. He is visiting me. From Hamburg. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Come! We talk outside. We are disturbing Herr Bradshaw. And take your nephew with you --from Hamburg! (FRAULEIN KOST and the SAILOR exit) Please accept my apologies, Herr Bradshaw. In future I will keep her away. CLIFF Please don't. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But are novelists interested in such persons? CLIFF Oh, yes. (Knock at door) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER What is it now? (SCHULTZ enters. He is carrying a bottle of schnapps) SCHULTZ Fraulein Schneider --it is eleven o'clock. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Ah, Herr Schultz! Eleven o'clock already? I have been showing Herr Bradshaw his room. Herr Bradshaw --Herr Schultz, who also lives here. CLIFF Pleased to meet you. SCHULTZ You are an American? I have a cousin in Buffalo. Felix Tannenbaum. It is possible you know him? CLIFF I hardly ever get to Buffalo. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Herr Schultz is proprietor of the finest fruit-market on the Nollendorfplatz. SCHULTZ Italian oranges. Delicious. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I will dress now. Herr Schultz has been kind enough to invite me to join him in a glass of schnapps for the New Year. SCHULTZ And a little fruit. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER And --after all --why not? Otherwise I am in bed with a hot-water bottle. SCHULTZ Perhaps Herr Bradshaw ... CLIFF No. Thank you. SCHULTZ Another time! I want to wish you much maze! in the New Year. CLIFF Mazel? SCHULTZ Yiddish. It means "luck!" CLIFF Thanks. The same to you. SCHULTZ I come to you, Fraulein, in ten minutes --with the schnapps! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER And the fruit! (SCHULTZ exits) And now --please --anything you require --knock on my door. Anytime. Day or night. Also --welcome to Berlin! (She exits) KIT KAT KLUS (Whispered) Welcome to Berlin! CLIFF Welcome to Berlin --famous novelist. Open the Remington. (CUFF opens typewriter, TEXAS approaches him.) TEXAS Hello. CLIFF That's what you came here for ... TEXAS Standing all alone like that you have happened to catch my eye. (LULU and VICTOR appear) Would you like to buy a girl a drink? VICTOR Would you like to buy a boy a drink? CLIFF/EMCEE/KIT KAT KLUS Welcome to Berlin --famous novelist ... LULU Ja? You would? Come on over! (CLIFF slams the typewriter shut and exitsinto .... ) ACT ONE Scene Four The Kit Kat Klub EMCEE Meine Dammen and Herren --Mesdames et Messieurs --Ladies and Gentlemen -.and now the Kit Kat Klub is proud to present a most talented young lady from England. Yes --England! She is so talented, so charming, so woo-who-who. Only yesterday I said to her, "I want you for my wife." And she said, "Your wife? What would she want with me?" (A few members of the audience laugh) Thank you! I give you, and don't forget to bring her back when you are finished with her, the toast of Mayfair --Fraulein Sally Bowles!! (SALLY enters) SALLY (Sings)~ MAMA THINKS l'M LIVING IN A CONVENi, A SECLUDED LITTLE CONVENT IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF FRANCE. MAMA DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN INKLING THAT l'M WORKING IN A NIGHTCLUB IN A PAIR OF LACY PANTS. SO PLEASE, SIR, IF YOU RUN INTO MY MAMA, DON'T REVEAL MY INDISCRETION, GIVE A WORKING GIRL A CHANCE. (GIRLS ENTER) HUSH UP, DON'T TELL MAMA, SHUSH UP, DON'T TELL MAMA, DON'T TELL MAMA, WHATEVER YOU DO. IF YOU HAD A SECRET, YOU BET I WOULD KEEP IT. I WOULD NEVER TELL ON YOU. l'M BREAKING EVERY PROMISE THAT I GAVE HER, SO WON'T YOU KINDLY DO A GIRL A GREAT BIG FAVOR? AND PLEASE, MY SWEET PATATER, KEEP THIS FROM THE MATER, THOUGH MY DANCE IS NOT AGAINST THE LAW. YOU CAN TELL MY PAPA, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, CAUSE HE COMES IN HERE EVERY NIGHT, BUT DON'T TELL MAMA WHAT YOU SAW! ALL MAMA THINKS l'M ON A TOUR OF EUROPE, WITH A COUPLE OF MY SCHOOL CHUMS AND A LADY CHAPERONE. MAMA DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN INKLING THAT I LEFT THEM ALL IN ANTWERP AND l'M TOURING ON MY OWN. SO PLEASE, SIR, IF YOU RUN INTO MY MAMA, DON'T REVEAL MY INDISCRETION. SALLY JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. HUSH UP, ALL DON'T TELL MAMA. SALLY SHUSH UP, ALL DON'T TELL MAMA, DON'T TELL MAMA WHATEVER YOU DO. SALLY IF YOU HAD A SECRET YOU BET I COULD KEEP IT. ALL I WOULD NEVER TELL ON YOU. YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO GET ME IN A PICKLE, SALLY AND HAVE HER GO AND CUT ME OFF WITHOUT A NICKEL. ALL SO LET'S TRUST ONE ANOTHER, KEEP THIS FROM MY MOTHER, THOUGH l'M STILL AS PURE AS MOUNTAIN SNOW. SALLY YOU CAN TELL MY UNCLE HERE AND NOW CAUSE HE'S MY AGENT ANYHOW, ALL BUT DON'T TELL MAMA WHAT YOU KNOW. SALLY YOU CAN TELL MY GRANDMA, SUITS ME FINE; JUST YESTERDAY SHE JOINED THE LINE, ALL BUT DON'T TELL MAMAWHAT YOU KNOW. YOU CAN TELL MY BROTHER, THAT AIN'T GRIM CAUSE IF HE SQUEALS ON ME I'll SQUEAL ON HIM, BUT DON'T TELL MAMA, BITTE DON'T TELL MAMA, PLEASE, SIR. DON'T TELL MAMA WHAT YOU KNOW. GIRLS SSSH! SSSH! SALLY IF YOU SEE MY MUMMY, MUM'S THE WORD! EMCEE Fraulein Sally Bowles! Thank you Sally! (Ad lib). Rosie, Lulu, Frenchie, Texas, Fritzie, Helga! They're so hot! Only half an hour 'til New Year's ..... anything can happen ..... . ACT ONE Scene Five SALLY (On the phone) Table number Three. CLIFF (On the phone) Hello. SALLY You're English! CLIFF Absolutely. SALLY Oh, you're American. But you speak English beautifully, darling. I'm up here. CLIFF Oh, hello. SALLY Hello. Will you just keep talking, please? You can't imagine how starved I've been ... CLIFF Okay. Let's see: "Somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright. A band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light. And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout. But there is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out!" SALLY Oh, yes --don't stop, please. CLIFF I'm afraid that's all I know. My name is Cliff Bradshaw. SALLY Where are you from? CLIFF Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. You never heard of it. SALLY Did you like my number? CLIFF You bet! SALLY Are you alone? CLIFF Yes. SALLY Then let me buy you a drink. But not --right --at this moment. (SALLY exits. BOBBY, a waiter, calls CLIFF on the phone) CLIFF Hello. BOBBY Is that Cliff Bradshaw? CLIFF Who's this? BOBBY Bobby. We met in London. At the Nightingale Bar. CLIFF Bobby. Oh, hello. BOBBY Hello. Listen --it's crazy tonight. But maybe you can come backstage. It's just through there. CLIFF Now? BOBBY Later --fifteen minutes. Alright? CLIFF Alright. (CLIFF nods. BOBBY exits) EMCEE Meine Dammen and Herren, Mesdames et Monsieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen: It is almost midnight! Husbands --you have only ten seconds in which to lose your wives! Ten --nine --eight --seven --six --five --four --three --two --one --Happy New Year! (To: The Dressing Room) MAX I can do anything I please. I own this Club. SALLY Part-owner! MAX And we all agree: It's a new year. Time for a new face. SALLY A new tart, you mean. MAX Is that so shocking, Fraulein Bowles? SALLY The only shocking thing is that nobody can see that I've been trying --against all odds --to give this seedy little dive a little ... allure. MAX Allure? Our customers hate "allure". Everytime we even mop the floor, they complain. SALLY But, darling, lots of people come here because of me. MAX No one will even notice you've gone! (HE starts to exit) SALLY Max --I don't know about the laws here --but I'm sure it can't be legal to just ... I mean .-don't you have to give a girl a two-week notice? --Or at least a week ... ? MAX Why don't you organize a union? Go join all those Communists marching in the street! (HE _starts to exit) SALLY But Max! Max! Bastard! (But HE is gone) (SALLY snorts some coke) (KNOCKat the door) Come in! (CLIFF enters) CLIFF I'm not sure I'm in the right place .... SALLY (pulling herself together) Oh, Chris! CLIFF Uh, Cliff. SALLY Ah, Cliff. Did you com~ for your drink? CLIFF Sorry? SALLY I promised to buy you a drink --and here you are! Is gin all right? Of course it is. It's all I've got. CLIFF Gin? I guess so. Why not? SALLY Will you pour? (SHE continues to work on her make-up) I only have a few minutes ... (CLIFF pours out two drinks) Why did you say you were English? CLIFF I don't know, a whim. You ever had a whim? SALLY Constantly! I used to love pretending I was someone else --someone quite mysterious and fascinating. Until one day I grew up --and realized I was mysterious and fascinating. I'm Sally Bowles. (Toasting) Happy New Year, darling! (She kisses him -he kisses her back) Are you new in Berlin? CLIFF I've only been here three hours. SALLY Three hours! Welcome! How long are staying? CLIFF I'm working on a novel. I'll stay till it's finished. SALLY Oh, you're a novelist. How marvelous! You can write about what swine people are and have a huge success and make pots of money. CLIFF Let's talk about Sally Bowles. What part of England are you from? London? Stratford-on-Avon? Stonehenge? SALLY Oh, Cliff --you mustn't ever ask me questions. If I want to tell you anything, I will. Why did you come to Berlin to do your novel? CLIFF I'd already tried London and Paris. SALLY Just looking for a place to write? CLIFF Something to write about. SALLY Where are you staying? CLIFF The Nollendorfplatz. SALLY The Nollendorfplatz! I'd love to live in the Nollendorfplatz! It's so --racy! I just live upstairs here. It would be too divine to invite you up but Max is most terribly jealous ... CLIFF Max? Your husband? SALLY Oh, no! He's just the man I'm sleeping with. This week. I say --am I shocking you, talking this way? CLIFF I say --are you trying to shock me? SALLY You're quite right, you know. (SALL Y's cue light flashes) Ooh, there's my cue. Is there really a place called Mudville? CLIFF Absolutely. It's in New Jersey. SALLY Don't forget to leave your number --Toodle-pip! (She exits quickly. CLIFF looks around) (He goes to the dressing-table and looks in the mirror) (BOBBY enters with VICTOR) BOBBY (To CLIFF) That was never a good color for you. Cliff, this is Victor, he is sharing my apartment. VICTOR Hello. CLIFF (To VICTOR) How do you do? BOBBY He's heard all about you. VICTOR All about you. BOBBY I can't stay. But will you ring me? CLIFF Of course. BOBBY You better had! VICTOR (At the door--urgently) Bobby--come! (VICTOR exits) BOBBY (To CLIFF) Ja! Happy New Year! (He goes to kiss hem. CLIFF backs away) Come on Cliff, this is Berlin. Relax. Loosen up. Be yourself. (CLIFF and BOBBY have a real kiss) (Cymbal crash. Lights snap up on SALLY) SALLY YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE WAY I AM, MEIN HERR. A TIGER IS A TIGER NOT A LAMB, MEIN HERR. YOU'LL NEVER TURN THE VINEGAR TO JAM, MEIN HERR. SO I DO ---WHAT I DO, --.WHEN l'M THROUGH ---THEN l'M THROUGH ---AND l'M THROUGH --.TOODLE-OO! BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR, FAREWELL MEIN LIEBER HERR. IT WAS A FINE AFFAIR, BUT NOW IT'S OVER. AND THOUGH I USED TO CARE, I NEED THE OPEN AIR. YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME, MEIN HERR. DON'T DAB YOUR EYE, MEIN HERR, OR WONDER WHY, MEIN HERR. l'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT I WAS A ROVER. YOU MUSTN'T KNIT YOUR BROW, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BY NOW YOU'D EVERY CAUSE TO DOUBT ME, MEIN HERR. THE CONTINENT OF EUROPE IS SO WIDE, MEIN HERR, NOT ONLY UP AND DOWN, BUT SIDE TO SIDE, MEIN HERR. I COULDN'T EVER CROSS IT IF I TRIED, MEIN HERR. BUT I DO ---WHAT I CAN ---INCH BY INCH ---STEP BY STEP --.MILE BY MILE ---MAN BY MAN. BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR, FAREWELL MEIN LIEBER HERR. IT WAS A FINE AFFAIR, BUT NOW IT'S OVER. AND THOUGH I USED TO CARE, I NEED THE OPEN AIR, YOU'RE BETTER OFF WffHOUT ME, MEIN HERR. SALLY AND THE GIRLS DON'T DAB YOUR EYE, MEIN HERR, OR WONDER WHY, MEIN HERR. l'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT I WAS A ROVER. YOU MUSTN'T KNIT YOUR BROW YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BY NOW YOU'D EVERY CAUSE TO DOUBT ME, MEIN HERR. BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, MEIN HERR. IS WAR SEHR GUT, MEIN HERR UNO VORBEI. DU KENNST MICH WOHL, MEIN HERR, ACH, LESE WOHL, MEIN HERR. DU SOLLST MICH NIC MEHR SEHEN MEIN HERR. SALLY BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR ....... .............................UNO VORBEI. DU KENNST MICH WOHL, MEIN HERR ........................ AND BYE-BYE. GIRLS BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, MEIN HERR. IS WAR SEHR GUT, MEIN HERR .............................UNO VORBEI. DU KENNST MICH WOHL, MEIN HERR ACH, LESE WOHL, MEIN HERR DU SOLLST MICH NIC MEHR SEHEN SALLY AND THE GIRLS BYE-BYE MEIN LIEBER HERR, FAREWELL MEIN LIEBER HERR. IT WAS A FINE AFFAIR, BUT NOW IT'S OVER. AND THOUGH I -USED TO CARE, I NEED THE -OPEN AIR. SALLY YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME, YOU'LL GET ON WITHOUT ME. .. .......... MEIN HERR EMCEE The final performance of Sally Bowles!! (ad lib) GIRLS AUF WEIDER SEHN ES WAR SEHR GUT DU KENNST NICH WOHL ACH, LESE WOHL! BYE BYE MEIN HERR, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, BYE BYE MEIN HERR! ACT ONE Scene Six CLIFF's room ERNST You know what is the trouble with English? It is not an exact language. Either one must memorize fifty thousand words either one cannot speak it correctly. CLIFF Either one must memorize --or one cannot speak ... ERNST Aha! Either --or. (ERNST makes a notation in his notebook -.then closes it and looks at his watch) The time is now finisbed. CLIFF I'm in no hurry. ERNST But the lesson is one hour. No? Another pupil is waiting. CLIFF What other pupil? ERNST No other pupil? (CLIFF shakes his head) Then I make a suggestion: I have many friends. Most anxious for improving thier English. I put them on to you. But for tonight, I will telephone a lady friend. She will bring a friend for you. Elsa. She is very loving of Americans -.Gary Cooper in particular. CLIFF Not tonight, Ernst. ERNST But you have not seen this Elsa! Hot stuff --believe me! In one minute, I guarantee you are making a pass after her. CLIFF A pass ruher. ERNST Aha!! A pass at her! CLIFF I've got a date tonight. ERNST A typewriter? But what can one do with a typewriter? CLIFF Not very much lately. ERNST Then come! Perhaps you and I only! We make a large whoopee! CLIFF (shakes his head) I've got a budget, Ernst --and it only allows for a very small whoopee --unfortunately. ERNST Then you will be my guest! I show you the real Berlin. CLIFF It's very tempting ... ERNST (moving close) We will acquaint with one another. CLIFF As soon as I can afford it ... ERNST It is difficult, you know --adjusting to the idea of a poor American. But I tell you a secret. There is no need for this poverty. Ja! If you are willing -.show you a most excellent way to supplement your income ... CLIFF Doing what? ERNST Oh --by taking very brief trips --to Paris. A few days each time. Nothing more. But it will pay you well --extremely well. (Knock) CLIFF Come in. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Herr Bradshaw --there is a young lady to see you! A young lady in a fur coat! CLIFF A young lady? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Fraulein Bowles ... CLIFF Bowles?! Ask her to come in. (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER exits) ERNST You are old friends ... you and Fraulein Bowles? From London, perhaps .... CLIFF From the Kit Kat Klub. Last night. ERNST Last night! You are some snappy operator! (SALLY enters --wearing a fur coat --smoking a cigarette) SALLY Cliff, darling! (She hands him her suitcase) Ernst, dearest heart! Where were you last night? ERNST Ah --I have such a regret. But I have already explained to Herr Bradshaw -. was delayed on business. But I promise I will come to the Klub --very soon. SALLY Don't you dare! I don't want anyone going near that bloody Klub ever again! (To CLIFF, still holding her suitcase) Just put it anywh~re. I'll unpack later. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Unpack? --But Herr Bradshaw did not mention ... SALLY Oh, I'll just be here temporarily. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I am sorry, but this is not possible. SALLY (to CLIFF --sotto voce) How much are you paying? CLIFF Fifty marks. SALLY (to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) Sixty marks. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER (shaking her head) It is not the money .... SALLY Seventy? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I cannot perm it ... SALLY Eighty--? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Eighty-five. SALLY (instantly shaking hands) Done! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER And now --please make yourself cosy, Frau Bradshaw. (She exits) ERNST (to CLIFF) Such a to-do! I will see you Friday for the next lesson. But I am telling you something: I think I am taking from you the wrong kind of lessons/ (ERNST exits) CLIFF Sally --what the hell do you think you're doing? SALLY Would you guess I was terrified? CLIFF Are you? SALLY (nods) What if you'd thrown me out? Can you imagine how that would feel -.being thrown out twice in one day? CLIFF You mean ---Max? SALLY Dear Max. And you know whose fault it was, don't you? If you hadn't come to the Kit Kat Klub --and been so dreadfully attractive --and recited poetry --and forced your way into my dressing-room ... CLIFF Sally --about your staying here .... SALLY You know what I'd love, darling? A spot of gin. CLIFF Gin? SALLY You've got some? I mean --I think one must. CLIFF No, I don't have any gin. SALLY Oh, well --Prairie -Oysters, then. CLIFF Prairie Oysters? SALLY I practically live on them. It's just raw egg whooshed around in some Worcestershire Sauce. It's heaven for a hangover. CLIFF I haven't got a hangover. (SALLY takes a container of eggs out of her large bag) You carry eggs around with you? SALLY Of course! One never knows when one will have a desperate craving for an omelette -.does one? Actually --I salvaged these from my previous digs. (She takes a bottle of Worcestershire out of her coat pocket) CLIFF That's quite a coat. SALLY It should be. It cost me all I had. Little did I realize how soon I'd be unemployed. CLIFF I gather --your friend Max runs the Kit Kat Klub ... ? SALLY Oh, you're divinely intuitive! I do hope I'm not going to fall madly in love with you. Are you in the movie business in any way? (CLIFF shakes his head) Then you're safe --more or less. Though I do believe a woman can't be a truly great actress till she's had several passionate affairs --and had her heart broken. (She breaks the egg for the Prairie Oyster) Damn. I should have let Ernst pay my cab fare. He's got all that money from Paris. CLIFF From Paris? SALLY He smuggles it in for some political party. CLIFF Ernst is in politics? SALLY Oh, it's all so terribly tedious. Hals and beinbruch! It means neck and leg break. It's supposed to stop it happening. Though I doubt it does. (She drinks) Mmmmmm ... It tastes like peppermint. CLIFF That's because it's my toothbrush mug. SALLY Well, it makes me feel terribly sensual. CLIFF Sally, you've got to understand ... (She picks up a book) SALLY Oh! This is your novel! (squintir:ig at it) It's in German? "Mein Kampf"? CLIFF It's not my novel. I thought I should know something about German politics. SALLY Why? You're an American. (She spots his typewriter) Oh, a typewriter! How creative! You could be the next Dostoevski. Will you allow me to watch you work? Gunther never would. CLIFF Who? SALLY Gunther Werner, he does films. And guess who's going to be in his next one -."The Woman in Room "? CLIFF Are you The Woman? SALLY No, unfortunately. I play Penny, an English girl. It's a very good part ... Gunther wrote it specially for me. CLIFF What's it about? SALLY I haven't the foggiest. It's in German! Listen: (Reading with great bravura) "Guten tag. lch kaiser Penny und ich bien Englanderen" CLIFF Nobody's ever translated it for you? SALLY (shakes her head) Oh, but It's so much more fun not knowing. Oh, will you allow me to watch while you write? I promise to be incredibly quiet. CLIFF Look, I don't think I can work with someone else --on the premises. SALLY Then I'll go out --take long, invigorating walks .... CLIFF In the middle of the night? And there's another thing: I'm not a prude. At least ... SALLY Are you homosexual in any way? Bobby says you are. CLIFF Bobby? SALLY One of the boys at the Klub. He says he met you in London -.at the Nightingale Bar ... CLIFF The Nightingale Bar? SALLY Is it possible? CLIFF I guess --anything's possible. I've been to lots of bars .... SALLY And did you and Bobby have an affair? CLIFF Did he say that? SALLY He implied it. CLIFF (carefully) I see .... SALLY Cliff -if you don't mind --I'd should like to withdraw the question. Because --really -.it's none of my business. (Music begins) I think people are people, I really do, Cliff. Don't you? I don't think they should have to explain anything. For example, if I paint my fingernails green and it happens I do paint them green, well, if someone should ask me why, I say: "I think it's pretty, ("I think it's pretty," I reply.) So, if anyone should ask about you and me one day, you have two alternatives: you can either say, "Oh, yes, it's true. We're living in delicious sin." Or you can simply tell the truth and say: (Sings) I MET THIS PERFECTLY MARVELOUS GIRL IN THIS PERFECTLY WONDERFUL PLACE AS I LIFTED A GLASS TO THE START OF A MARVELOUS YEAR BEFORE I KNEW IT SHE CALLED ON THE PHONE. INVITING. NEXT MOMENT I WAS NO LONGER ALONE, BUT SAT RECITING SOME PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL VERSE, IN MY CHARMING AMERICAN STYLE. HOW I DAZZLED HER SENSES WAS TRULY NO LESS THAN A CRIME. NOW l'VE THIS PERFECTLY MARVELOUS GIRL IN THIS PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL ROOM AND WE'RE LIVING TOGETHER AND HAVING A MARVELOUS TIME. CLIFF (Spoken) Sally, I'm afraid it wouldn't work. You're much too distracting. SALLY Distracting? No, inspiring! (Sings) SHE TELLS ME PERFECTLY MARVELOUS TALES OF HER THRILLINGLY SCANDALOUS LIFE WHICH I'll PROBABLY USE AS A CHAPTER OR TWO IN MY BOOK. AND SINCE MY STAY IN BERLIN WAS TO FORCE CREATION, WHAT LUCK TO FALL ON A FABULOUS SOURCE OF STIMULATION. AND PERFECTLY MARVELOUS TOO IS HER PERFECT AGREEMENT TO BE JUST AS STILL AS A MOUSE WHEN l'M GIVING MY NOVEL A WHIRL. YES, l'VE A HIGHLY AGREEABLE LIFE IN MY PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL ROOM WITH MY NEARLY INVISIBLE, PERFECTLY MARVELOUS, GIRL. CLIFF Sally --I just can't afford ... Do you have any money? SALLY A few marks ... six. (Triumphantly) CLIFF (very low) Oh, God! SALLY Please, Cliff --just for a day or two? Please! CLIFF (Sings) I MET THIS TRULY REMARKABLE GIRL IN THIS REALLY INCREDIBLE TOWN, AND SHE SKILLFULLY MANAGED TO TALK HER WAY INTO MY ROOM. SALLY (Spoken) Oh, Cliff! CLIFF (Sings) I HAVE A TERRIBLE FEELING l'VE SAID A DUMB THING. BESIDES, l'VE ONLY GOT ONE NARROW BED. SALLY (sexily) WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. Scene Seven EMCEE So you see, everybody in Berlin has a perfectly marvelous roommate. Some people have two people. GIRL (Sings) BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEE! GIRL BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEE! EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEE! GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE, EMCEE TWO LADIES. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DE;E DEE DEE, EMCEE TWO LADIES. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE, EMCEE AND l'M THE ONLY MAN. JA! GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... EMCEE I LIKE IT. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... EMCEE THEY LIKE IT. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... EMCEE THIS TWO FOR ONE. BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... GIRLS TWO LADIES. EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... GIRLS TWO LADIES. EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE, GIRLS AND HE'S THE ONLY MAN. EMCEE JA! GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... GIRL HE LIKES IT. EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... GIRL WE LIKE IT. EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE .... GIRLS THIS TWO FOR ONE GIRL I DO THE COOKING ... GIRL AND I MAKE THE BED. EMCEE I GO OUT DAILY TO EARN OUR DAILY BREAD. BUT WE'VE ONE THING IN COMMON, GIRL HE .... EMCEE SHE ... GIRL AND ME, GIRL THE KEY, EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE, GIRL THE KEY, EMCEE BEEDLE DEE, DEE, THE KEY. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEE! (Dance -'s) GIRLS OOH! AHH! OOH! AHH! EMCEE WE SWITCH PARTNERS DAILY TO PLAY AS WE PLEASE. GIRLS TWOSIE BEATS ONESIE, BUT NOTHING BEATS THREES. EMCEE I SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE, GIRL l'M LEFT, GIRL UNO l'M RIGHT, EMCEE BUT THERE'S ROOM ON THE BOTTOM IF YOU DROP IN SOME NIGHT. GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE ... EMCEE TWO LADIES. BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE ... GIRLS T\//O LADIES. BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE, AND HE'S THE ONLY MAN. ALL JA! BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE ... EMCEE I LIKE IT, GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE ... EMCEE THEY LIKE IT! GIRLS BEEDLE DEE, DEE DEE DEE ... ALL THIS TWO FOR ONE. BEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEEDLE DEE, DEE! EMCEE Thank you! Bobby, Lulu and Me!! (ad lib) ACT ONE Scene Eight The Living Room of FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's Apartment (FRAULEIN KOST is entering with a SAILOR. Suddenly FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER enters from her room) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER That sailor! Out of my house! FRAULEIN KOST This sailor --dear lady --is my brother! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Out! Out!! Out!!! (SAILOR exits) FRAULEIN KOST Wait! Wait! How dare you! You think it is easy --finding a sailor? This was only my second one since New Year's. And what is it now? April! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Your second? FRAULEIN KOST Ja. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Your second? FRAULEIN KOST Ja. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER You think I do not know what goes on here? Sailors --all the time: in --out --in --out! God only knows what the neighbors think I am running here --a battleship? Fraulein Kost, I give you fair warning! One sailor more --I call the police! FRAULEIN KOST And if I cannot pay the rent? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER The rent is due each Friday --as always. FRAULEIN KOST No sailors. No rent. I move. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Move? FRAULEIN KOST Move!! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER And what am I supposed to do with your room? Out of the blue -.she tells me "I move!" Is that gratitude for you? Only last week I gave you another new mattre$S! FRAULEIN KOST All right! All right!! So I will leave the end of the week --since you insist. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER l insist? You insist! FRAULEIN KOST So what about the sailors? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER The sailors? Fraulein Kost --if you wish to continue living here, you must not let me ~ you bringing in any more sailors! You understand? FRAULEIN KOST Very good. So it is the same as always. (She goes into her room and closes the door.) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER No, it is not the same as always! (She knocks on FRAULEIN KOST's door) Fraulein Kost. Do you hear me? I have put my foot down. (She knocks again) Fraulein Kost! Fraulein Kost!! (SCHULTZ enters from his room carrying a paper bag) SCHULTZ Fraulein Schneider! Good evening! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Oh, Herr Schultz! Such a surprise! SCHULTZ You are occupied? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER No. No. Free as a bird. Please forgive my appearance. SCHULTZ But it is most becoming. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Thank you. SCHULTZ I have brought you a little something from the shop. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Another little something? (SCHULTZ hands her the bag) SCHULTZ With my compliments. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER So heavy! But what can it be? Pears? Last Wednesday you brought me pears. And such pears! Apples, possibly? Friday was apples. SCHULTZ Ja, Ja. Friday was apples. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER So I cannot guess ... SCHULTZ Then open! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Herr Schultz. Can I believe what I see? But this is --too much to accept. So rare --so costly --so luxurious ... (Sings) IF YOU BROUGHT ME DIAMONDS IF YOU BROUGHT ME PEARLS IF YOU BROUGHT ME ROSES LIKE SOME OTHER GENTS MIGHT BRING TO OTHER GIRLS, IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE THAN THE GIFT I SEE: A PINEAPPLE FOR ME. SCHULTZ IF IN YOUR EMOTION YOU BEGAN TO SWAY WENT TO GET SOME AIR OR GRABBED A CHAIR TO KEEP FROM FAINTING DEAD AWAY, IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE THAN TO SEE YOU CLING TO THE PINEAPPLE !BRING. BOTH AH ..... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I CAN HEAR HAWAIIAN BREEZES BLOW. BOTH AH .... SCHULTZ IT'S FROM CALIFORNIA. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER EVEN SO. HOW AM I TO THANK YOU? SCHULTZ KINDLY LET IT PASS, FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER WOULD YOU LIKE A SLICE? SCHULTZ THAT MIGHT BE NICE, BUT FRANKLY, IT WOULD GIVE ME GAS. t FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER THEN WE SHALL LEAVE IT HERE NOTTO EAT, BUT SEE; A PINEAPPLE ... FOR ME. FROM ME. AH .... ::. (They dance) BOTH FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER SCHULTZ ALL FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But you must not bring me any more pineapples. Do you hear? It is not proper. It is a gift a young man would present to his lady-love. It makes me blush. SCHULTZ But there is no-one --no-one in all of Berlin who is more deserving. If I could, I would fill your entire room with pineapples! (Sing) A PINEAPPLE ... FOR YOU, FROM YOU. BOTH SCHULTZ FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER ALL AH ... . AH ... . (The music continues) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER (Spoken) I think I will lie down for a few minutes. My head is spinning! SCHULTZ Fraulein Schneider, Good evening. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Good evening, Herr Schultz. (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER opens her bedroom door --then turns to SCHULTZ) I am --overwhelmed! (She goes in and closes the door. The music ends. SCHULTZ is all a-tingle. He makes a decision. He is about to knock on FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's door when suddenly FRAULEIN KOST opens her door and comes out -.obviously on her way out to find some business. She wonders why SCHULTZ is so far from his own door. But her natural flirtatious instincts take over.) FRAULEIN KOST Good evening, Herr Schultz. SCHULTZ Good evening, Fraulein Kost. I am looking for --I think I dropped -.a small coin --a groschen ... it rolled this way. FRAULEIN KOST You're looking for a groschen? (Meaningfully) I'm looking for two marks. (SCHULTZ gets her meaning. He shakes his head negatively. FRAULEIN KOST exits. SCHULTZ goes again to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's door. He knocks. Immediately the door swings open. He swiftly enters. The door closes.) ACT ONE Scene Nine {The EMCEE enters with a small wind-up gramaphone. It is a boy's voice, singing beautifully ... ) THE SUN ON THE MEADOW IS SUMMERY WARM, THE STAG IN THE FORl;:ST RUNS FREE. BUT GATHER TOGETHER TO GREET THE STORM, TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME. THE BRANCH OF THE LINDEN IS LEAFY AND GREEN, THE RHINE GIVES ITS GOLD TO THE SEA. BUT SOMEWHERE A GLORY AWAITS UNSEEN, TOMORROW BELONGS (The EMCEE takes off the needle) EMCEE ... TOME (Cymbal crash) ACT ONE Scene Ten (It is rather dark in CLIFF's room, SALLY is sitting alone --drinking. A bottle of gin is nearby. CLIFF enters, opening a letter) CLIFF I got the letter .... all seven pages. Are you alright? ........ Sally? SALLY (nods) I'm just not speaking today. CLIFF (Affably) Okay. (Looking at the letter) My mother says: "Tell Sally to lay off the gin." SALLY She does not! CLIFF And here's the check!! (He pulls out a check) SALLY Hurray!!! Fifty dollars? How much is that in real money? CLIFF More than enough to pay the rent ... SALLY (hopefully) And dinner at the Adlon? With a bottle of champagne? Oh, Cliff! (He looks at her as if she's off her rocker) A glass of champagne? CLIFF Alright. (SALLY kisses him) Why so gloomy? SALLY (evading the question) Because we never have dinner at the Adlon any more. CLIFF We never did. (Reading the letter) "I'm so excited you've finished your novel, Clifford darling." What a liar I am. SALLY Poor Cliff. It's my fault --If I weren't always dragging you off to party after party ... CLIFF But I love those parties. I. like this whole town. It's so tawdry and terrible and everyone's having such a great time. Like a bunch of kids playing in their room --getting wilder and wilder --and knowing any minute their parents are going to come home. SALLY Maybe you should write about your childhood. CLIFF That was my first novel. SALLY There must be something else to write about... (SALLY beams a smile) CLIFF Sally Bowles? SALLY Of course! I told you I'd inspire you. "Les amores du Sally." But make me ravishing and sublimely seductive --so no man can resist me. Not even a rather strange, handsome young American, who allows me to share his room --and his bed -.and falls desperately in love with me ... (He turns his head away from her) Don't worry! It's only fiction! CLIFF (nods) Now all I've got to do is write it. SALLY I wish I were less distracting. CLIFF It's true. Nobody could work with you around. Not Hemingway --not Tolstoy -.not even Proust ... (She starts packing her suitcase) Oh, no --Sally --I didn't mean ... SALLY But it's time, Cliff. I've never stayed with anyone so long. One must keep mobile, musn't one? CLIFF What's the matter? Got a better offer? SALLY Dozens. I've never stayed so long with anyone. I'm sure you've offers, too. CLIFF Oh, dozens (A game) A couple (SALLY gives him a look) Not one. SALLY Not even Bobby? He phoned today, by the way. (She picks up her suitcase ands starts to exit) CLIFF (Suddenly) Don't go. SALLY What? CLIFF Please, don't go. SALLY Are you serious? CLIFF The hell with Bobby. Maybe --I like you here. I need you. I need -. The truth is, Sally --when you're out all night --I can't sleep. Our little bed suddenly seems so empty. I've never felt this way before about --anyone --anyone at all. SALLY You truly mean this? CLIFF More than I've ever meant anything. SALLY Oh, darling ..... CLIFF You want to tell me what's wrong? SALLY Nothing. Not a thing. (She sits) I'm pregnant. CLIFF Are you sure? (SALLY nods) Well --what are we going to do? SALLY What am I going to do? The usual thing, I suppose. CLIFF You've done it before? SALLY Thousands of times. CLIFF Don't you think you ought to check with the father? SALLY Why? CLIFF Well --to help pay for the doctor --for one thing. SALLY I do so hate it, Cliff. That awful doctor. CLIFF Then maybe ... SALLY And --anyway --who~ the father? (laughing) Could be anyone! CLIFF (dawning realization) Could be me. Sally, it could be me. SALLY (considering it a possibility for an instant) True. CLIFF And Sally --if it's mine ... SALLY We'll never know --will we? CLIFF We .Q.Q.U.]_g_. SALLY Oh, yes! Nine months of being sick every morning. And then --the happy day! And whom does it resemble? Max! A horrid little German infant --with a moustache --ordering us about. CLIFF I'm willing to take that chance. SALLY Or --perhaps --an Oriental. I seem to recall a rather taciturn Malaysian ... CLIFF Sally --will you do me a favor and shut up! Can we just be serious for a minute? SALLY (surpressing hysteria) I doubt it, Cliff. CLIFF This could be the best thing that ever happened to us .... SALLY I doubt it, Cliff. CLIFF We're drifting --We have no focus to our lives. A baby would make all the difference. I know it would to me. I'd get a job. I'd have to. I'd stay home nights: write the novel -.wash the diapers --the whole bit! Listen, Sally --will you do one thing for me -.please? At least --think about it --before you see the doctor ... ? SALLY MAYBE THIS TIME, I'll BE LUCKY MAYBE THIS TIME, HE'LL STAY MAYBE THIS TIME FOR THE FIRST TIME LOVE WON'T HURRY AWAY HE WILL HOLD ME FAST I'll BE HOME AT LAST NOT A LOSER ANYMORE LIKE THE LAST TIME AND THE TIME BEFORE EVERYBODY LOVES A WINNER SO NOBODY LOVED ME: 'LADY PEACEFUL,' 'LADY HAPPY,' THAT'S WHAT I LONG TO BE ALL THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR SOMETHING'S BOUND TO BEGIN IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN, HAPPEN SOMETIME MAYBE THIS TIME I'll WIN EVERYBODY LOVES A WINNER SO NOBODY LOVED ME: 'LADY PEACEFUL,' 'LADY HAPPY,' THAT'S WHAT I LONG TO BE ALL THE ODDS ARE IN MY FAVOR SOMETHING'S BOUND TO BEGIN IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN, HAPPEN SOMETIME MAYBE THIS TIME .............. .. MAYBE THIS TIME I'll WIN (ERNST knocks and enters) ERNST Clifford --Sally -. SALLY Ernst. ERNST I do not wish to intrude. SALLY Would you like a drink, darling? ERNST Only if you'll join me. SALLY (making a bee-line for the bottle) Well, just this once. CLIFF (to ERNST) What's on your mind, Ernst? ERNST You remember --I mentioned the possibility of an occasional business trip to Paris. If you are interested, I think in the next few days. Thank you. And I promise you are giving help to a very good cause. CLIFF Well, whatever it is, don't tell me. I don't want to know. ERNST As you wish. CLIFF How about going tomorrow? ERNST Tomorrow? But, we are all going to the party .... CLIFF I think I'll skip it. ERNST But why, Clifford? CLIFF Let's just say: I'm turning over a new leaf. SALLY Turning over a new tree. ERNST And you, Sally ... ? You are turning over as well? SALLY Who knows? I mean--Cliff and I may just turn out to be the two most utterly boring people you ever met! CLIFF So, what would I have to do? ERNST It is so very simple: You go to an address I will give you --you pick up a small briefcase --you bring it back to Berlin. And I pay you seventy-five marks! SALLY Seventy-five marks! ERNST Yes, and that is only the beginning. (to CLIFF) So, you will go to Paris? CLIFF Absolutely. Anything for a buck. Prosit! ERNST (toasting) Prosit! SALLY Prosit! EMCEE So, you see? There's more than one way to make money ..... MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND THE WORLD GO AROUND THE WORLD GO AROUND MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND IT MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND A MARK, A YEN, A BUCK, OR A POUND A BUCK OR A POUND A BUCK OR A POUND IS ALL THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND, THAT CLINKING CLANKING SOUND CAN MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND. GIRLS MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY EMCEE GIRLS IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE RICH, ........... OOOOH AND YOU FEEL LIKE A NIGHT'S ENTERTAINMENT, ........... MONEY YOU CAN PAY FOR A GAY ESCAPADE. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE RICH, ........... OOOOH AND ALONE, AND YOU NEED A COMPANION ........... MONEY YOU CAN RING TING-A-LING FOR THE MAID. IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE RICH ........... OOOOH AND YOU FIND YOU ARE LEFT BY YOUR LOVER, ........... MONEY THOUGH YOU MOAN AND YOU GROAN QUITE A LOT/MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY YOU CAN TAKE IT ON THE CHIN, ........... OOOOH CALL A CAB, AND BEGIN ........... MONEY TO RECOVER, ON YOUR FOURTEEN CARAT YACHT. EMCEE MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND, THE WORLD GO AROUND, THE WORLD GO AROUND, MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND, OF THAT WE CAN BE SURE. (----) ON BEING-POOR. ALL MONEY MONEY MONEY -MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY -MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY (Dance --S's) ALL MONEY MONEY MONEY -MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY -MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY EMCEE AND GIRLS (IN CANON) IF YOU HAVEN'T ANY COAL IN THE STOVE AND YOU FREEZE IN THE WINTER AND YOU CURSE TO THE WIND AT YOUR FATE WHEN YOU HAVEN'T ANY SHOES ON YOUR FEET AND YOUR COAT'S THIN AS PAPER AND YOU LOOK THIRTY POUNDS UNDERWEIGHT. WHEN YOU GO TO GET A WORD OF ADVICE FROM THE FAT LITTLE PASTOR HE WILL TELL YOU TO LOVE EVERMORE. BUT WHEN HUNGER COMES A RAP, RAT-A-TAT, RAT-A-TAT AT THE WINDOW (RAT-A-TAT, RAT-A-TAT, RAT-A-TAT) GIRLS AT THE WINDOW ... EMCEE WHO'S THERE? GIRLS HUNGER! EMCEE OOH HUNGER! SEE HOW LOVE FLIES OUT THE DOOR ... FOR EMCEE MONEY MAKES THE WORLD .............. . THE WORLD .............. . THE WORLD .............. . MONEY MAKES THE -----GO AROUND THAT CLINKING CLANKING SOUND OF MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY EMCEE GET A LITTLE, GET A LITTLE, MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MARK, A YEN, A BUCK OR A POUND THAT CLINKING CLANKING CLUNKING SOUND IS ALL THAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND IT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND! GIRLS ............... GO AROUND . .............. GO AROUND . .............. GO AROUND . .............. GO AROUND GIRLS MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . GET A LITTLE GET A LITTLE GET A LITTLE GET A LITTLE MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY .. . ACT ONE Scene Eleven {FRAULEIN KOST is smuggling SAILORS out of her room. She is halfway across the floor with one of them when FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER enters) FRAULEIN KOST All right! There is no need to say it. I know it by heart already. So --no lectures, please.--about sailors. They are just lonesome, patriotic German boys. I have a duty. (SCHULTZ comes out of FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's room and takes in the scene. It is clear he has been inside with FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER. The atmosphere crackles. Now, glorying in the moment, and for FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER's benefit, FRAULEIN KOST hugs and kisses the third SAILOR at great length) FRAULEIN KOST Goodnight, Rudy --you must be sure to come back again soon. At any time. (Looking at FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) Bring your friends. Go home. (The SAILOR exits. FRAULEIN KOST waltzes up to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) Ah --good evening, Fraulein Schneider. A busy evening --no? I see we are -.after all --sisters under the skin. SCHULTZ Fraulein Kost! FRAULEIN KOST Yes? SCHULTZ This fine lady is not your sister! This fine lady has just honored me by consenting to give me her hand in marriage! FRAULEIN KOST (Really amazed) Marriage? SCHULTZ Yes, we marry in -~ three weeks. FRAULEIN KOST Three weeks! SCHULTZ So a little respect for the future Frau Schultz --if you please! FRAULEIN KOST Ja! Ja! Frau Schultz? (FRAULEIN KOST --chastened --exits into her room) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Thank you --Herr Schultz. You were --supreme. SCHULTZ But what else could I do? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Such a magnificent lie to preserve my reputation. SCHULTZ But why did I say three weeks? Why not three months? Three years? This way she will find out the truth so quickly ......... Unless ........ .. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Unless? SCHULTZ Unless what? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER You said: "unless." SCHULTZ But it is foolish! I mean --after all --who would have me? An elderly widower --balding --with heartburn --and a little fruit ... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Am I such a bargain then? An unbeautiful spinster with some rooms to let -.poorly furnished. SCHULTZ I work fourteen hours a day. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I do my own scrubbing. SCHULTZ My right leg bothers me. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I have such palpitations. SCHULTZ I'm not a well man. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Am I a well woman? SCHULTZ What are we talking about? We're alive! And what good is it --alone? So if you would even consider --marriage .... ? (A long pause) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I will consider it. SCHULTZ But take your time, by all means. No hurry. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER We should discuss it. We must not marry merely to humiliate Fraulein Kost. SCHULTZ I assure you, Fraulein Schneider. This is not the case. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But let us be honest. Had she not seen us --you would not have proposed today. Then tomorrow. You mean this? (nods) I had it in my mind. It is all so impulsive. SCHULTZ FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER SCHULTZ FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER SCHULTZ (shakes his head) You hesitate because you have never been married. It frightens you. But believe me, it can work wonders (Sings) HOW THE WORLD CAN CHANGE, IT CAN CHANGE LIKE THAT -.DUE TO ONE LITTLE WORD: "MARRIED". SEE A PALACE RISE FROM A TWO ROOM FLAT DUE TO ONE LITTLE WORD: "MARRIED". AND THE OLD DESPAIR THAT WAS OFTEN THERE SUDDENLY CEASE$ TO BE FOR YOU WAKE ONE DAY, LOOK AROUND AND SAY: SOMEBODY WONDERFUL MARRIED ME. WIE WUNDERBAR, NIGHTS ST SO WIE-ES-WAR, DURCH EIN WIENSIG-ES WORT: "HEIRAT" AUF DEM ERD-GE-SCHOST DURCH EIN MARCHEN SCHLOSS MIT EIN WIENSIG-ES-WORT: "HEIRAT" UNO DAS GRAU IN GRAU WIRD AUF EIN MAL BLAU, ... CHANTEUSE WIE NOCH KEIN BLAU JEMALS WAR. UNO DANN STEHT MAN DA SAGT BESELIGT 'JA' HEUT WIRD MEIN TRAUM NIGHT SO GRAU IN GRAU (Spoken) WIE WUNDERBAR, ICHTS ST SO WIE-ES-WAR, DURCH EIN WIENSIG-ES WORT: "HEIRAT" AUF DEM ERD-GE-SCHOST DURCH EIN MARCHEN SCHLOSS MIT EIN WIENSIG-ES-WORT: "HEIRAT" SCHULTZ CHANTEUSE AND THE OLD DESPAIR UNO DAS GRAU IN GRAU THAT WAS OFTEN THERE WIRD AUF EIN MAL BLAU SUDDENLY CEASES TO BE HEUT NACHT MEIN TRAUM JEMALS WAR SCHULTZ AND SCHNEIDER FOR YOU WAKE ONE DAY, LOOK AROUND AND SAY: SCHULTZ "SOMEBODY WONDERFUL FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER SOMEBODY WONDERFUL BOTH MARRIED ME" ACT ONE Scene Twelve The Fruit Shop (SALLY is carrying a large gift-wrapped package. CLIFF enters, carrying a briefcase.) SALLY Darling, at last --you're here --just in time! (They kiss). Was Paris divine? I don't know. I didn't see much of it. Why ........ Was there any trouble? (the briefcase) No. But I'll be glad to get rid of this. It's so good to see you. (CLIFF goes to her) Spare the child! Oh, my God! I always forget ... (dramatically) CLIFF SALLY CLIFF CLIFF SALLY CLIFF SALLY Well --of course you do! You're not mortally ill every morning. CLIFF Neither are you. SALLY Well --there's still time ---Come! I can't wait to give them their present! SCHULTZ Herr Clifford --you are back! CLIFF Herr Schultz. SALLY Fraulein Schneider, Herr Schultz, this is for you --but be careful! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Ah --Herr Schultz --look! Crystal! SALLY Cut-crystal. It's for fruit. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Beautiful. SCHULTZ I promise to keep it filled. As long as we live, this bowl will not be empty. (FRAULEIN KOST enters with a SAILOR) FRAULEIN KOST Fraulein Schneider --I am welcome? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Fraulein Kost --forgive me. It is my fault --I did not invite you. But only because I know you work in the evening. FRAULEIN KOST Tonight I am free. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I should live so long. FRAULEIN KOST Rudy. Come! It's ~raulein Schneider's party. Why don't you dance with her? SAILOR (to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) Oh, It will be my pleasure, Fraulein. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But I cannot ... and you are so young ... It is out of the question ... unthinkable ... Absolutely unthinkable ... Absolutely. (During this, the SAILOR dances with FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) (ERNST enters. He comes up to CLIFF and SALLY) ERNST Clifford --Sally .... SALLY Ernst! ERNST You have the briefcase? CLIFF Baubles from Paris --Perfume --Silk stockings ... ? (He hands CLIFF the envelope, SALLY grabs it) SALLY Seventy-five marks! It's a gift from heaven! ERNST And now --I must find Fraulein Schneider. If you will excuse me ... ? SALLY (to CLIFF) Dance with me. CLIFF Do I have to? SALLY Yes! (They join the dancers upstage, FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER approaches ERNST) ERNST Ah, Fraulein Schneider. I wish you much happiness. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Thank you, Herr Ludwig. ERNST I am sorry to be late, but there was a meeting. An important meeting. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER One does what one must. ERNST And now --I should like to meet the groom-to-be. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Herr Schultz. sut where can he be? He's been having a glass of schnapps with everybody. But you will forgive if he is a little --"who-who" --you understand? (SCHULTZ comes up) SCHULTZ (to ERNST) Good evening. Good evening. You will have a drink with me? (to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER --whispering) Who is this? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Herr Ludwig. An old friend. (to ERNST) Herr Ludwig --Herr Schultz. SCHULTZ And you are most welcome, Herr Ludwig. You will join me in a schnapps. Then you must eat --there is so much food. And so many pretty girls. I will introduce you to them --except I do not know their names, so you will introduce yourself? --you will dance -.Would you like another schnapps? (ERNST is laughing and enjoying SCHUL TZ's happiness) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER You did not give him the first one yet. SCHULTZ No? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Here, let me do it. (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER takes the bottle and pours a drink for ERNST) ERNST Thank you. SCHULTZ Nothing for~? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER You have had enough. SCHULTZ You hear? You hear? Not even married yet --and already she is in charge. And it is --pleasant. At last, someone who cares if I am foolish. ERNST Many, many happy years to an outstanding couple. SCHULTZ Beautiful dancing! (FRAUL,EIN KOST approaches ERNST) FRAULEIN KOST Herr Ludwig --remember me? Fraulein Kost? You must dance with me! Come! ERNST A pleasure, Fraulein. (To CLIFF) Clifford, bitte --will you watch the briefcase? And my coat? (He takes off his coat, revealing a Nazi armband. CLIFF grabs him and stares) I am sorry, since you did not wish to know my politics. CLIFF Is this the good cause? ERNST Our party will be the builders of the new Germany. CLIFF Yes. I've been reading your leader's book .... ERNST But enough politics. What does it matter? We are friends --close friends. Buddies! (ERNST returns to dance with FRAULEIN KOST) With your permis$ion? ...... A delightful party. Herr Schultz is a most generous host. Ja? FRAULEIN KOST He should be. He could afford ten times as much. They have all the money -.the Jews. (ST) ERNST Herr Schultz? (FRAULEIN KOST nods) I think --I have changed my mind. If you will excuse me, Fraulein ... (ERNST goes to FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) Fraulein Schneider --I must speak to you. (ST) You and I are old acquaintances. I have sent you many new lodgers. So let me urge you -.think what you are doing. (ST) This marriage is not advisable. I cannot put it too strongly. For your own welfare ... ....(ST) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER What about Herr Schultz's welfare? ERNST He is not a German. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER He was born here. ERNST He is not a German. Good night. (ST) (He goes to CLIFF for his briefcase and coat) Sorry, Clifford. Good night. (FRAULEIN KOST sees them) FRAULEIN KOST Herr Ludwig --wait! You are not leaving so early? ERNST I do not find this party amusing. FRAULEIN KOST Oh --but it is just beginning. Come, we will make it amusing --you and I --ja? Ladies and gentlemen --Wait --! Herr Ludwig --this is for you: (Sings) THE SUN ON THE MEADOW IS SUMMERY WARM. THE STAG IN THE FOREST RUNS FREE. BUT GATHER TOGETHER TO GREET THE STORM, TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME. THE BRANCH OF THE LINDEN IS LEAFY AND GREEN, THE RHINE GIVES ITS GOLD TO THE SEA. BUT SOMEWHERE A GLORY AWAITS UNSEEN. TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME. (Spoken) Herr Ludwig! Sing with me! BOTH THE BABE IN HIS CRADLE IS CLOSING HIS EYES. THE BLOSSOM EMBRACES THE BEE. BUT SOON, SAYS A WHISPER: "ARISE, ARISE, TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME" FRAULEIN KOST (Spoken) Everyone! (All begin to sing except FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, SCHULTZ, CLIFF and SALLY, who stand watching) ALL OH FATHERLAND, FATHERLAND, SHOW US THE SIGN YOUR CHILDREN HAVE WAITED TO SEE. THE MORNING WILL COME WHEN THE WORLD IS MINE. TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME! OH FATHERLAND, FATHERLAND, SHOW US THE SIGN YOUR CHILDREN HAVE WAITED TO SEE. THE MORNING WILL COME WHEN THE WORLD IS MINE. TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME! INTERMISSION ACT TWO Scene One Entr'Acte: Willkommen (Drum Break) Two Ladies Money I Don't Care Much (During this section The EMCEE dances with two audience members) Married (Drum Break) Cabaret (Sax Solos) (Orum Break) (The EMCEE, now dressed as a girl, and the Women's Ensemble assemble on stage for a kick line.) Kick Line (The kick line progresses and builds. The EMCEE reveals himself. Then suddenly, at a given point, it becomes a row of goose-stepping, "Heil Hitlers.") (The line marches off stage, leaving the EMCEE to introduce the next scene .... ) ACT TWO Scene One Entr'Acte: Willkommen (Orum Break) Two Ladies Money I Don't Care Much (During this section The EMCEE dances with two audience members) Married (Orum Break) Cabaret (Sax Solos) (Drum Break) (The EMCEE, now dressed as a girl, and the Women's Ensemble assemble on stage for a kick line.) Kick Line (The kick line progresses and builds. The EMCEE reveals himself. Then suddenly, at a given point, it becomes a row of goose-stepping, "Heil Hitlers.") (The line marches off stage, leaving the EMCEE to introduce the next scene .... ) ACT TWO Scene Two The Fruit Shop SCHULTZ Fraulein Schneider --good morning. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Good morning, Herr Schultz. SCHULTZ New apples. Fresh off the tree. Delicious --Please .... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Perhaps later. SCHULTZ About the party last evening ... I do not remember it too well. Was I that inebriated? Can you ever forgive me? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER For what? A few glasses of schnapps? SCHULTZ I promise you --no more drinking. On our wedding day, you will be proud of me. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I am already proud of you. But --as far as the wedding is concerned ... SCHULTZ Yes? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER There is a problem. A new problem. SCHULTZ A new problem? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER New to~ --because I had not thought about it. But at the party last night my eyes were opened. SCHULTZ And ... ? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I saw that one can no longer dismiss the Nazis. They are my friends and neighbors. And how many others are there? SCHULTZ (impatiently) Of course --many. And many are Communists --and Socialists --and Social Democrats. So what is it? You wish to wait till the next election --and then decide? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But if the Nazis come to power ... SCHULTZ You will be married to a Jew. But also a German. A German as much as anyone. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I need a license to rent my rooms. If they take it away .... SCHULTZ They will take nothing away. And Fraulein Schneider --it is not always a good thing to settle for the lowest apple on the tree --the one easiest to reach. Climb up --a little way. It is worth it! Up there the apples are so much more delicious! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER But if I fall ... ? SCHULTZ I will catch you, I promise. I feel such tenderness for you. It is difficult to express. Are we too old for words like love? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Far too old. I am no Juliet. You are no Romeo. We must be sensible. SCHULTZ And live alone? How many meals have you eaten alone? A thousand? Five thousand? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Twenty thousand. SCHULTZ Then be sensible. Governments come --governments go. How much longer can we wait? (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER says nothing) Let me peel you an orange ... (SCHULTZ starts peeling an orange -rather clumsily) FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I will do it. (Underscoring from "MARRIED" begins) SCHULTZ (Sings) AND THE OLD DESPAIR THAT WAS OFTEN THERE SUDDENLY CEASES TO BE. FOR YOU WAKE ONE DAY, LOOK AROUND AND SAY: "SOMEBODY WONDERFUL MARRIED-. (EMCEE drops a brick between them) (Spoken) It is nothing! Children on their way to school. Mischievous children! Nothing more! I assure you! School children. Young --full of mischief. You understand? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I understand. ACTTVvO Scene Three (The Emcee and a Gorilla enter) EMCEE I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING: YOU WONDER WHY I CHOSE HER OUT OF ALL THE LADIES IN THE WORLD. , THAT'S JUST A FIRST IMPRESSION, WHAT GOOD'S A FIRST IMPRESSION? IF YOU KNEW HER LIKE I DO IT WOULD CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW. IF YOU COULD SEE HER THROUGH MY EYES, YOU WOULDN'T WONDER AT ALL. IF YOU COULD SEE HER THROUGH MY EYES I GUARANTEE YOU WOULD FALL (LIKE I DID) WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC TOGETHER I HEAR SOCIETY MOAN. BUT IF THEY COULD SEE HER THROUGH MY EYES MAYBE THEY'D LEAVE US ALONE HOW CANI SPEAK OF HER VIRTUES? I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN SHE'S CLEVER, SHE'S SMART, SHE READS MUSIC SHE DOESN'T SMOKE OR DRINK GIN (LIKE I DO) YET, WHEN WE'RE WALKING TOGETHER THEY SNEER IF l'M HOLDING HER HAND, BUT IF THEY COULD SEE HER THROUGH MY EYES MAYBE THEY'D ALL UNDERSTAND. (Dance Break) EMCEE WHY DON'T THEY LEAVE US ALONE? (Spoken) Meine Darnen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs, Ladies and Gentlemen --Is it a crime to fall in love? Can we ever tell where the heart truly leads us? All we are asking is ein bischen verstandnis --A little understanding -.Why can't the world "Leben and Leben lassen" --"Live and Let live?" I UNDERSTAND YOUR OBJECTION, I GRANT YOU THE PROBLEM'S NOT SMALL. BUT IF YOU COULD SEE HER THROUGH MY EYES .... SHE WOULDN'T LOOK ~EWISH AT ALL. ACT TWO Scene Four CLIFF's room (SALLY is dressed to go out as CLIFF enters from the street.) SALLY Cliff --did you get a job? CLIFF I'll try again tomorrow. SALLY But there's no need! I've got the most marvelous news! Guess who was summoned to the Kit Kat Klub today?! (She bows) Tada! It turns out they want me back --desperately! CLIFF (darkly) Why? SALLY Why? Because they've finally realized how valuable I am! Bobby and Victor tell me it's been deadly since I left. So --I start tonight! Isn't that heaven! CLIFF Heaven. SALLY Think of the money, Cliff. We need it so badly. CLIFF Not that badly. SALLY I don't understand you. Really I don't. First you tell me you're not going to Paris for Ernst any more --even though it does seem the very easiest way in the world to make money ... CLIFF Or the hardest. You know, Sally, someday I've got to sit you down and read you a newspaper. You'll be amazed at what's going on. SALLY You mean --politics? But what has that to do with us? CLIFF You're right. Nothing has anything to do with us. Sally --don't you understand -.if you're not against all this --you're for it. Or you might as well be. (Knock at the door) SALLY Come in. (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER enters. She carries the box containing the fruit bowl) Fraulein Schneider ...... FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER I intrude? SALLY No. No. Come in. (She notices the package) Is that the fruit bowl? Is something wrong with it? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER (shaking her head) I cannot keep it. SALLY But why? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER An engagement present. But there is no engagement. SALLY What do you mean? FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER We have --reconsidered --Herr Schultz and I. CLIFF Fraulein Schneider, you can't give up that way! FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER Oh, yes I can! That is easy to say! Easy for you. Fight! (Music starts) And --if you fail --what does it matter? You pack your belongings. You move to Paris. And if you do not like Paris --where? It is easy for you. But if you were me ... (Sings) WITH TIME RUSHING BY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WITH THE CLOCK RUNNING DOWN, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THE YOUNG ALWAYS HAVE THE CURE, BEING BRAVE, BEING SURE AND FREE. BUT IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ME, ALONE LIKE ME, AND THIS IS THE ONLY WORLD I KNOW. SOME ROOMS TO LET, THE SUM OF A LIFETIME, EVEN SO, I'll TAKE YOUR ADVICE. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WOULD YOU PAY THE PRICE? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SUPPOSE SIMPLY KEEPING STILL MEANS YOU MANAGE UNTIL THE END? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? MY BRAVE, YOUNG FRIEND? GROWN OLD LIKE ME, WITH NEITHER THE WILL NOR WISH TO RUN. GROWN TIRED LIKE ME, WHO HURRIES FOR BED WHEN DAY IS DONE. GROWN WISE LIKE ME, WHO ISN'T AT WAR WITH ANYONE, NOT ANYONE! WITH A STORM IN THE WIND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SUPPOSE YOU'RE ONE FRIGHTENED VOICE BEING TOLD WHAT THE CHOICE MUST BE, GO ON, TELL ME, I WILL LISTEN. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE ME? CLIFF (Spoken) Fraulein Schneider ... If you marry Herr Schultz --whatever problems come up --you'll still have each other. FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER All my life I have managed for myself --and it is too old a habit to change. I have battled alone, and I have survived. There was a war --and I survived. There was a revolution --and I survived. There was an inflation --billions of marks for one loaf of bread --but I survived! And if the Nazis come --I will survive. And if the Communists come --I will still be here --renting these rooms! For, in the end, what other choice have I? This --is my world! (Softly) I regret very much returning the fruit bowl. It is truly magnificent. I regret --everything. (FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER exits) SALLY Oh, Cliff -should I speak to her? CLIFF What would you say? SALLY Oh --that it will all work itself out. Remember how she was about my staying here? (imitating FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER) "It is not possible! And I cannot consider ... " CLIFF Shut up, Sally. SALLY What? CLIFF It's not funny. SALLY Well, it seems nothing amuses you anymore. It was such fun today with Bobby and Victor. They laugh at everything. Especially the thought of you and me in a cottage at the end of a lane. They found that hysterical. (She gets her coat) They're waiting for me this very minute --to rehearse my numbers. So I really must go. (CLIFF dusts off his typewriter) CLIFF The fact is --you're going a lot further than the Klub. SALLY lam? CLIFF We're going home. My home. (SALLY looks at him blankly) Pennsylvania. SALLY You're joking! CLIFF (indicating the typewriter) I'm going to sell this. The money should get us as far as Paris. And I'll cable home for steamship fare. SALLY What are you talking about? CLIFF We've got to leave Berlin --as soon as possible. Tomorrow! SALLY But we love it here! CLIFF Sally, wake up! The party's over! It was lots of fun --but now it's over. So how could we live here? How could we raise a family? SALLY But is America the answer? Running away to America? CLIFF We're not running away. We're going home. SALLY Oh, certainly --that's fine for you. But what about me? My career? CLIFF You've got a new career. SALLY (Goes to CLIFF) But I can work at the Klub for several months at least. And then --in November -.Oh, Cliff, I want the world for our baby --all the most elegant, expensive things ... CLIFF We'll talk about it tomorrow --on the train. (CLIFF closes the typewriter and goes to get his coat) SALLY Cliff --wait! We can't just --uproot our lives --that quickly! CLIFF Oh, no? You give me one hour! Sit down!! (He pushes down) And don't move! Or, better yet --start packing! There's plenty to do. (He goes towards the door, carrying his typewriter) Call the Klub. Tell them goodbye. (He exits. SALLY sits alone. She thinks.) (The EMCEE appears and sings) EMCEE I DON'T CARE MUCH, GOOR STAY, I DON'T CARE VERY MUCH EITHER WAY. HEARTS GROW HARD ON A WINDY STREET. LIPS GROW COLD WITH THE RENT TO MEET. SO IF YOU KISS ME, IF WE TOUCH, WARNING'S FAIR, I DON'T CARE VERY MUCH. I DON'T CARE MUCH, GO OR STAY, I DON'T CARE VERY MUCH EITHER WAY. WORDS SOUND FALSE WHEN YOUR COAT'S TOO THIN. FEET DON'T WALTZ WHEN THE ROOF CAVES IN. SO IF YOU KISS ME, IF WE TOUCH, WARNING'S FAIR, I DON'T CARE VERY MUCH. ACT TWO Scene Five The Kit Kat Klub ("I Don't Care Much" continues through the early part of the scene. SALLY and MAX are kissing. CLIFF enters and goes to them.) (Pulling SALLY away) What the hell are you doing here? I beg your pardon? Get your things. I'm taking you home. CLIFF SALLY CLIFF SALLY Pennsylvania, you mean? To live on your mummie's charity? CLIFF I'll get a job. SALLY The Stock Market. CLIFF I'll find something. SALLY Maybe. But this is sure. CLIFF This? What the hell is !.b? You keep talking about !.b as if it really existed. When are you going to admit, Sally --the only way you got this job --any job -.is by fucking someone! SALLY Will you shut up, Cliff? CLIFF All this talk about your "career". My god --for once in your life --face the truth about yourself!! SALLY (Shouting back) Maybe I will. But now don't you think it's~ turn??! (She runs off) CLIFF (Starts to follow her. Calls) Sally ... (He is stopped by MAX, trembling with anger) ERNST Clifford --will you join me for a drink? CLIFF Not now, Ernst. ERNST I have been trying to reach you at Fraulein Schneider's. I have another urgent errand for you. CLIFF Sorry. ERNST This time I pay --one hundred-fifty marks. CLIFF The answer is no. ERNST But what is wrong, Clifford? You are angry with me? CLIFF lam? ERNST It is because of politics? If you were a German --you would understand these things. CLIFF Goodbye, Ernst. (ERNST goes towards CLIFF) ERNST Wait! It is very important --this errand! I pay two hundred marks. CLIFF Go to hell. ERNST But this is most upsetting. I am your close friend, Clifford. So fond of you. I have sent you many new students. CLIFF Oh, sure. Your Nazi friends, to polish up their english! What an idiot I've been! ERNST I know you need the money. So there must be something else .... lt is because of that Jew at the party. (CLIFF hits ERNST. As he does this, MAX and BODYGUARDS come to ERNST's help. ERNST leaves them to finish CLIFF off. A drum break accompanies this. The EMCEE appears as lights dim) EMCEE Thank you. And now Meine Dammen und Herren --Mesdames and Messieurs .Ladies and Gentlemen --once again the Kit Kat Klub is so happy to welcome back .an old friend. I give you, the toast of Mayfair --Fraulein Sally Bowles. (SALLY appears. Something is not right) SALLY (Sings) WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ALONE IN YOUR ROOM? COME HEAR THE MUSIC PLAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, COME TO THE CABARET. PUT DOWN THE KNITTING, THE BOOK AND THE BROOM. TIME FOR A HOLIDAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, COME TO THE CABARET. COME TASTE THE WINE, COME HEAR THE BAND. COME BLOW A HORN, START CELEBRATING; RIGHT THIS WAY, YOUR TABLE'S WAITING. NO USE PERMITTING SOME PROPHET OF DOOM TO WIPE EVERY SMLE AWAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, COME TO THE CABARET! I USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND KNOWN AS ELSIE, WITH WHOM I SHARED FOUR SORDID ROOMS IN CHELSEA. SHE WASN'T WHAT YOU'D CALL A BLUSHING FLOWER. AS A MATTER OF FACT SHE RENTED BY THE HOUR. THE DAY SHE DIED THE NEIGHBORS CAME TO SNICKER: "WELL, THAT'S WHAT COMES OF TOO MUCH PILLS AND LIQUOR." BUT WHEN I SAW HER LAID OUT LIKE A QUEEN, SHE WAS THE HAPPIEST CORPSE l'D EVER SEEN. I THINK OF ELSIE TO THIS VERY DAY. I REMEMBER HOW SHE'D TURN TO ME AND SAY: "WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ALONE IN YOUR ROOM? COME HERE THE MUSIC PLAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, COME TO THE CABARET. PUT DOWN THE KNITTING, THE BOOK AND THE BROOM. TIME FOR A HOLIDAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, COME TO THE CABARET. AND AS FOR ME, AS FOR ME, I MADE MY MIND UP, BACK IN CHELSEA, WHEN I GO l'M GOING LIKE ELSIE. (SALLY begins to break down) START BY ADMITTING, FROM CRADLE TO TOMB ISN'T THAT LONG A STAY. LIFE IS A CABARET, OLD CHUM, ONLY A CABARET, OLD CHUM, AND I LOVE A CABARET. ACT TWO Scene Six CLIFF's room (It is late morning. CLIFF is busily packing. His face is bruised. A knock at the door) CLIFF (Opens door) Herr Schultz! (SCHULTZ enters. He has a suitcase in one hand and a paper bag in the other) SCHULTZ Excuse me --but I have come to say goodbye. (He sees CLIFF's face) Your face --? CLIFF It's nothing. A little accident. Where are you going? SCHULTZ I've taken a room on the other side of the Nollendorfplatz. I think it will be easier for bfil. (He notes all the packing) You are leaving also? You and Fraulein Bowles? CLIFF We are going home. To America. - SCHULTZ America! I have sometimes thought of going there -. CLIFF Why don't you? The way things look here -. SCHULTZ But it will pass --I promise you! CLIFF I hope you're right. SCHULTZ I know I am right! Because I understand the Germans ... After all -.what am l? A German. (The door opens and SALLY enters. She looks ill and exhausted. She wears a rather thin dress and is carrying her bag.) Ah --Fraulein Sally! I have come to say goodbye ... all good fortune. SALLY Herr Schultz. SCHULTZ And I have brought a little farewell gift. (He gives SALLY the paper bag) Italian oranges. Delicious. (SALLY hugs him) CLIFF Goodbye, Herr Schultz. I wish you mazel. SCHULTZ Maze!. That is what we all need. (SCHULTZ exits, closing door behind him) CLIFF I've been packing for you. You won't be able to find a thing. We go today to Paris, remember? SALLY With b.ruface? CLIFF I was in a little fight last night. Didn't you hear about it? You should see the other three guys. Not a mark on them. It's about time to leave for the station. SALLY The thing is, Cliff ... CLIFF Don't say it. Whatever it is. Let's just forget the last twelve hours. Forget what I said at the Klub. Forget you've gotten even with me staying out all night. (He takes her hand) You're so cold. SALLY You know what I'd love? A spot of gin. CLIFF First thing in the morning? How about a Prairie Oyster? SALLY No Gin! (She pours herself a drink) CLIFF That can't be good for expectant mothers. Where's your coat? Your fur coat? Did you leave it at the Klub? SALLY I left it at the doctor's office. CLIFF Were you sick last night? Is that why you didn't come home? SALLY (Drinking) Oh, darling --you're such an innocent. Really! My one regret is I honestly believe you'd have been a wonderful father. And, I think someday, perhaps you will be. Oh yes, and I've another regret: That greedy doctor! I'm going to miss my fur coat. (CLIFF slaps her) Isn't it funny --it always ends this way? Even when I do finally love someone qu e terribly --for the first time. But it's still not --quite --enough. I'd spoil it, Cliff. I'd away with the first exciting thing that came along ... or YQ..!J.would. CLIFF But that's not true. I'd never have run away from you --for any reason -.not if there was a baby ... SALLY To hold us together, you mean? Oh, Cliff --what a terrible burden for an infant --don't you think? (CLIFF starts getting his things together --preparing to leave) CLIFF It's time for the train. Sally --I could go tomorrow --the next day -.This is your ticket to Paris. (With deep feeling) --if for any reason --you decide to use it ... You can reach me at the American Express Office. I'll be there till Friday .... SALLY But --the truth is, Cliff: I've always rather hated Paris. CLIFF Oh, Sally. (He starts to exit) SALLY Oh, Cliff! (CLIFF turns in the doorway) Dedicate your book to me. (CLIFF exits. The lights fade) ACT TWO Scene Seven (Before the lights come up -we hear -) LOUDSPEAKER VOICE Lezte ansage! Berlin-Paris Express abfahrt vier uhr bahnsteig siebzehn. All einsteigen, bitte! Letzte ansage! (Lights up on a railroad compartment. CLIFF and a CUSTOMS OFFICER are discovered in it.) EMCEE/OFFICIAL Deutsche grenzkontrolle. lhren pass bitte. (CLIFF hands it to him, he hands it back to CLIFF) I hope you have enjoyed your stay in Germany, Mr Bradshaw. And you will return again soon. CLIFF It's not very likely. OFFICIAL You did not find our country beautiful? CLIFF (tonelessly) Yes. I found it ... beautiful. OFFICIAL A good journey, sir. (CLIFF makes a few notes in his notebook. Then reads.) CLIFF There was a Cabaret and there was a Master-of-Ceremonies and there was a city called Berlin in a country called Germany and it was the end of the world ... (We begin to hear the music of "WILLKOMMEN") ............ and I was dancing with Sally Bowles and we were both fast asleep ... (Sings) WILLKOMMEN, BIENVENUE, WELCOME. (The EMCEE appears) FREMDE, ETRANGER, STRANGER. BOTH GLUCKLICH ZU SEHEN, JE SUIS ENCHANTE. HAPPY TO SEE YOU. BLEIBE, RESTE, STAY .......... . (They look up to see SCHNEIDER, SCHULTZ, KOST, ERNST and SALLY) EMCEE (Spoken) Meine Dammen und Herren -Mesdames et Messieurs -Ladies and Gentlemen. Where are your troubles now? Forgotten? I told you so. We have no troubles here. Here life is beautiful --the girls are beautiful ... Even the orchestra is beautiful. (The bandstand is now empty as the music continues) (SCHNEIDER, SCHULTZ, KOST, and ERNST come down the stairs and form a line US and slowly move OS.) (As they turn and walk US, the door wall, and brick wall behind the band, fly out to reveal the COMPANY.) (The set disappears. We are in a white space) EMCEE AUF WIEDER SEHN! A BEINTOT. (The EMCEE slowly takes off his coat. He is wearing the clothes of a concentration camp prisoner.) (Drum roll. Cymbal crash. Blackout) END